Really?

Are we really surprised? It amazes me that people are actually confused about the fact that President Elect Obama delivered his victory speech behind a 10 ft high, 2 in thick wall of bulletproof glass.

REALLY? You're surprised? In this country? We live in the country that killed MLK, JFK, RFK, Medgar Evers and countless others. We live in the country that allowed a predominantly black city to drown for seven days, (even though the Canadian mounties arrived in a single day's time) and then called them refugees. And we are surprised that the country is taking precautions to protect the first Black president?

Let's grow up, America.

Perhaps one of the most significant things about this election, is the conversations it will force people to have. The conversation that a lot of people have gone out of their way to avoid. Barack Obama's win does not eradicate racism; if anything it highlights the fact that it still exists--it took so long to get to this point in history.

Regina Brett, a columnist for the Cleveland Plain Dealer, wrote this in a recent article:

"I confessed that I never felt privileged being white. My dad was a sheet metal worker trying to raise 11 kids in a house by the railroad tracks between a furniture factory and a ball bearing plant.

After I shared my story, a black woman pointed out how much harder that same life would have been had my parents been black.
Her comment bothered me, but she was right.

Rarely am I conscious of my whiteness. I never claim my race as my identity. I see myself as a woman, not a white woman... I don't feel guilty being white. My ancestors had nothing to do with slavery. My poor Irish and Slovak grandparents hadn't yet arrived in this country.
But a four-week forum at the Cleveland Ecumenical Institute for Religious Studies opened my eyes to my own skin. Beth Robenalt, a diversity specialist and a friend of mine, ran the classes. If she had handed out grades, I would have flunked. ..I always mistook racism as those systems and practices that hurt and excluded blacks, not that advanced whites like me.

While I don't see myself as racist, I've benefited from racism by default -- through education, justice, political and health care systems that for decades have favored white people.

The class challenged me to challenge those systems, to walk the other way on the conveyor belt of life. Too often I let the conveyor carry me along. I've been oblivious to the black people struggling to get on or pointing out when we white folks are heading the wrong way.
To be honest, I want to live in a colorblind world. I want race to simply not matter any more.
But as one black woman in class pointed out, "If you don't see that I'm black, you don't see me."

I want to see her.
I want to see her as I see myself, as a woman.
But she sees me as a white person. Can I see myself that way? What would it mean if I did?
When it comes to race, I haven't a clue what it means to be black in America.
I'm still trying to figure out what it means to be white."

I thought the article was excellent. It illustrated to me what many of my white friends and colleagues must go through. Too often, I think whites are denied the ability to be proud of being simply "white"--that would instantly translate to observers as some type of white supremacist attitude. How could you be proud of being a part of the "opressive" culture? Its okay to be proud of being "Irish" or "Italian" or "Welsh." But they can't be proud of being simply "white"...though that is what the majority of black folks ask for on a daily basis. Arguably, we have different reasons; a lot of us cannot say we are Zulu, Ashanti, Khoi Khoi, Senegalese or Ghanaian. So we created a culture from the bits and pieces that we could.

Its not exactly the same thing. But while constantly asking for/demanding acceptance of who we are, how often do we also accept who they are?

Which brings me back to my original question--are we really surprised? Yes. Some of us are. Let the conversation begin.

Dreaming

I had a dream that I was friends with Michelle Obama the other night. There wasn't anything really profound about it. Nothing prophetic or anything like that. I just woke up with a sense of kinship to her. It was very interesting--I've never dreamed about a political figure before. I didn't want to over analyze the dream, nothing big happened, we just talked on the phone about meeting for lunch. I told her if she even needed to talk I was here for her, mundane stuff like that.

What I did realize when all of the dreamstate feelings dissapated was this: she is in a position that no other woman of color has ever found herself in. And even though she is self-assurred, self-confident, and self aware; she needs the support of the women of this country. She is faced with one of the toughest jobs in the country--that of a wife and mother of one of the most powerful families in the known world. I can't even begin to imagine the pressures that she will be privy to, the decisions she will aid our president elect in making, the fears she will have to calm in her daughters...and the task of giving them a semi-normal life. Whatever "normal" is.

My father said the morning after the election,

"There are things we can expect and things we should not expect...The apathy we thought was there has vanished. We can expect a fast-paced transition from the Bush Presidency to the Obama Presidency. We can expect changes in the way the world community relates to the United States: This country will regain respect it has lost over the past 8 years. This country will have respect in places where none existed before.We can expect changes in the way business is conducted locally, nationally and internationally. We can expect an end to the senseless deaths of American citizens in a Middle East war that should never have been started.

We should not expect President Barack Obama to work miracles: that is out of the province of presidential power. It has taken us 232 years to arrive at this moment. It will take time to correct some of the failed policies under which we now live. We should not expect our economy to turn on a dime. We should not expect an immediate withdrawal of American forces from Iraq and Afghanistan – it will take time. We should not expect an end to the hunger and poverty that so many people of the world live in today. We should not expect an end to global warming.It will all take time.

We can expect President Barack Obama to provide a stimulus for change in our nation and our world. We can expect President Obama to create a unity and a hope which this country has not experienced in 40 or more years. We can expect President Obama to call on each of us for patience and effort and prayer. What we need to do right now is to pray for President Obama’s strength and courage, commitment and faith, integrity and humility.

We must pray for his wife Michelle to guard his doubt, to comfort the loneliness of such power, and to love the man of faith that she married. We must pray for the protection of his children and his wife and for him from the evil about in the world today.We must pray for God to order President Obama’s steps, to provide for his strength, and to protect his health.We must pray for unity in our country and peace in our world."

These were the thoughts that were on my mind the morning of that dream. I think that was the point. They need our support. They need our prayers. They need our power as the citizens of this country to hold them accountable. They need us to be a people they can lead.

My pastors often say, that they are not the pastors of followers, they pastor a church of leaders--those of us who are leaders in our own way, of our homes, on the job, in our faith communities and neighborhoods, must continue to lead and help the Obamas rebuild a country that we can continue to be proud of.

Afterglow...

So, its after the morning after.
I have had my "black" moment. I was pleased to find out that I wasn't the only one of my friends who had the delayed reaction to this election. Today, I went a little deeper. I have several friends that are multi-ethnic, and it was a long time before I was willing to think of myself as what we used to call "mixed".

Once I left New Orleans though, I realized that a lot of the struggle that I had growing up was actually more parallel to that of my bi-racial friends than the experience of my black friends. But, that also depended on what part of the country I found myself in.

I found myself vehemently protesting when I became aware of someone trying to grant me "light-skinned" privelege. The idea made me physically ill. I wanted to deny anything white--or the fact that their was obviously causian blood in my family. I inherited this attitude from my father's side of the family; my sister and I often laugh about it now. The paternal side of our clan has some of the whitest looking black folk you know, and yet DENIES vehemently that there is anything white about us...hmmm.

I would get into deep arguments with people in school about the fact that he was black; he was NOT white, and there was nothing you could say to me to make me think otherwise, no matter what your eyes told you. Go ahead, ask the question as you step into my house and ask me who's that white man holding your baby in that picture? I like to play with people, "what white guy?"
"that one" as they point and look at me like I'm an alien, or have suddenly lost my sight...

"Oh, girl, he aint white, that's my daddy" Then the eyebrows raise and they say, "Ooookay" Then proceed to try to rationalize it for themselves and sort of apologize to me, "well, you know, he doesn't really look white, he looks...Italian or Spanish or something...Dominican maybe." I just chuckle. I don't really care anymore. I've been through my identity crisis and back a few times over and have come to terms with all the things I and my family are--we are the melting pot. Where did these attitudes come from?

My grandparents grew up in homes that were forced to choose--which are you? Black or White? The United States Census does not recognize "creole" as anything--so what are you? Decidedly, they were black.

I have a very vivid flashbulb memory of being bathed by my grandmother in her home in Baton Rouge, La. A mere five years old and asking her, "Momo, are you black or white?"
And her response:

"Greogory Allen! This girl asked me, am I WHITE?!" She was incensed; how could I even think that?

That memory also makes me chuckle. It is one of the only times I remember her raising her voice. She is a very quite, unassuming woman--she never needed to raise her voice to make herself heard. Hers is a different kind of power.
I remember Dad very simply saying, "Nina, Momo is black, just like you and me." And I said,

"Okay, I was just asking." Probably in the same tone my daughter now uses when I seem mildly shocked at a question she has, and I have to remind myself, hey, she didn't make all of this crap up! It was put into place long before either of us got here.

I think that one of the most important things about Barack Obama's win is the fact that this conversation will be had--people can no longer escape it. There have been whole sections of society who have not had to think about the experiences of people of color until they had their first black, asian, or latin friend and said something that offended them and they just, "didn't think it was a big deal."

Because this man is taking the oval office, and it is causing the entire WORLD to react to the US in a different way, people will have to have the conversation. Race is a factor in this country, because it is. Wishing it wasn't won't make it not exist as a factor. Talking about the challenges will help us at least take some steps on that bridge. My family is the rainbow coalition; I have several relatives--on the maternal and paternal sides--in "interracial" relationships.

But even that term is no longer valid. Aren't all of our relationships "interracial" to an extent? Almost no one in this country can claim to "pure" anything. My family is my family and I love them.

When I was 18, I was interviewed for a series the Times Picayune was running in New Orleans called "Black and White" and I said, "people ask you what you are so they can figure out how to deal with you. If you're white, I talk to you like this. If you're black, I talk to you like that. Don't try to put me in a little box and one of your categories. I'm human. Talk to me."

I'm now 31, soon to be a mother of three. As I raise my very prescious children, and I deal with the challenge of explaining the past, my experiences, why things are important, and helping them navigate their own relationships; I am put to the test. How do I help them form their own opinions, give them strong values, and not damage them with mine?

I'm finding that though many years have passed, I have come back to that same place I was in during that interview. I don't assume (anymore) that every white person I meet, is racist if they weren't introduced to me by someone who has cleared them as "cool." I did assume that at one time, I had good reason too, I grew up in the deep, twisted south. But, I have since had the blessing of leaving home, and not only traveling to other states but around the world. If you never have--do it, it will blow your mind. Fortunately, I was able to do alot of that traveling before I was 25, still very green. I plan to do more, and take my kids with me.

I love the challenge we pose for people when they see us--my extended family--together. I love people trying to figure out, who has relaxed or pressed hair and who doesn't. Is that one "white" or "spanish" or something? I love that my comfort food is actually gumbo and crawfish etouffe--and sometimes its greens and mac and cheese, and sometimes its glazed salmon with an endive salad. How do we talk to each other? and all of that foolishness--the same way you do. We open our mouths and say something.

Happy Obama Day...

Everybody look around
Cause there's a reason to rejoice you see
Everybody come out
And let's commence to singing joyfully...

I woke up this morning, and I still hadn't cried. So many of my friends had.

I was stunned. I was numb.

I felt much the same way I had I felt when I saw the first images of New Orleans, my home, the morning after Hurricane Katrina. I had no words. I was totally shocked by what was happening in this country--then and now. I couldn't feel anything other than the shock. There were lots of things I felt I should be feeling. But those feelings did not come right away.

During the aftermath, I watched helplessly, like so many others, waiting for the anger, the sadness, the RAGE. And none of those things came. It was nearly a year before I shed a tear for my former home. The place that shaped so much of my identity. A wall that I never intended to erect went up. And was helpless against it. I was a person who always cried. Tears were always at my disposal. So were words. And now I had neither.

The wall, that it took me so long to climb over, simply moved last night. I was without words. I was under water. My friends, my family, my colleagues, they were going to expect me, Nina, the actress, playwright, public speaker, to say SOMETHING.

Something profound.

Everybody's glad,
because our silent fear and dread is gone
Freedom you see, has got our hearts
singing so joyfully...

Profound. My daughter's name means, "profound" in Yoruba. She was who I thought of first. My first born whohad such a profound impact on my life; shaped and changed me in so many ways.
I looked at my facebook page. All of my friends and colleagues were changing their status messages at lightining speed:

"Nathan is watching his mother, who escaped Jim Crow Mississippi, enjoy this moment, there are no words..."

"Tyee is a Black man...with a Black President"

"David is proud to be an American"

and so on...all appropriate. And seemingly immediate. I put up a message, after what seemed a long time to me:

"Nina is STUNNED! HE WOOOOONNNNN!!!!"

This, only after four stations had confirmed the electoral college. I couldn't take another heartbreak. I was underwater again. Slowly, something began to rise up in my spirit. I felt...like singing. I was grateful. I wanted to run into church and start praising!

Can't you feel a brand new day!
Can't you feel a brand new day!
Can't you feel a brand new day!
Can't you feel a brand new day!

Praise. My son's name. I thought about him next. He will be two in a matter of days. I thought about how he had caught our excitement and enthusiastically yelled everytime he appeared on the screen, "BAHHHK OBAHHHHMA!"

And this morning the tears finally fell. I didn't sob or weep, like so many people I knew seemed to be doing. But tears of joy fell. I awoke my daughter with the news, "Jinle, you have a new president."

"Who is it?"

"Barack Obama..."

"I knew he was going to win!"

My husband. His name means, "God has given" and "Faithful friend." He had a new lift in his spine as he walked, what we call, "swag." We watched with excitement as all the fathers brought their kids to daycare today--the same fathers we see everyday; but everyone of them with a little something different in their smile and in their walks...

Everybody wake up
Into the morning into happiness
Hello World!
It's like a different way of living now
And thank you world
We always knew that we'd be free somehow!

This is OUR moment. Yes, it is America's moment, and the world shares it with us. We couldn't have done it without all the white folks who voted for him...but I didn't want to hear all of that this morning as the commentators on the "mainstream" stations talked about the election. I didn't want to hear about how now maybe a woman could do it to. I didn't care about any of that, I didn't want people's comparisons and early criticisms, and suppositions about how hard it is going to be for President Elect Obama to transition into office. I wanted people to for once, let the moment be what it is--

WE HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT!!!

To quote Dr. Micheal Erik Dyson, "I don't want to transcend my Blackness, to do that is to deny who I am; I want to transcend your perception of what my Blackness means."

Let it be what it is just for today, just for this week. Let it be a victory. Let Black people be proud without drawing your conclusions and comparisons and trying to be involved in a way that you cannot--because it is not your history.

Don't misunderstand. I'm not trying to be divisive or exclusionary. But sometimes, I just want to say, "Let us have this one, please!" Celebrate for the reasons you want to celebrate. You should. You earned it. You voted, your voice was heard. But don't try to make me celebrate for your reasons. I have my own. And I will honor, value and own them unashamedly. Let's let it be what it is for every person that is a part of this moment.

We will have four or more years to criticize his decisions, his policy, his stance, compare him to everything and everyone.

But just this once, let it be. Let's celebrate this moment for what it is. We will never have this moment again. Why should we rush to the next one? It IS important that he is Black. That is not an afterthought or a sidebar. It is a title heading.

I don't want to hear one more person tell me he's an incredible human being who worked hard and deserved to be here in this moment and he worked hard for it, blah blah blah. So were a lot of other presidents and politicians.

That is not what makes this significant. What makes this significant is the fact that the people of this country, for the first time in history, have given the ULTIMATE position of power and authority in this country to a Black man. That people have finally had the courage to say that this man can be my leader, not the leader who talks to the President for me, or represents me to the President, but that this man, can govern my country and represent it, be my face to the WORLD.

For those of us who are believers, we have yet another proof to justify our faith, "with God, all things are possible"

In harmony
and show the world that we've got liberty
Its such a change
for us to live so independently!

I wonder if the composers of The Wiz knew how prophetic their song was?

WE HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT!!!!

I know. But sometimes, you got to just shout it again! The new first family, simply by their presence, is causing a paradigm shift. My daughters will have young women, besides the ones on Disney and Nickelodeon, to look up to. Women of all walks of life, will emulate Michelle Obama; her style and grace. And I'm not talking fashion. For people who do no have pastors or community leaders in their everyday lives to emulate, they will now have a marriage that they can look to pattern themselves after. A real live one. To quote Jeff Johnson from Straight Talk on BET,

"Thank God that tonight has happened the way that it has...The shining black manhood that we saw is connected to a shining black womanhood, that is being what the Huxatibles and what Roc couldn’t do. It was making a black family gangsta and intellectual, focused and real,
loving and aggressive...The first family. Ladies and gentlmen, Barack Obama is President.
Thank you and good night."